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Saturday, November 19, 2016

They get a lump of coal for Christmas - for making terrible music

I usually stick to positive reviews, but a couple of things is going to make this post different.  First, I thought about composing a worst singers list while watching some live footage of KISS in concert.  Second, I was scrolling through some new music on iTunes and was disappointed in some recent releases.  So here I will do a bit of trash talk, but I'm not going to go into a tremendous amount of detail, I just had to get it off my chest.  Look them up if you dare - but I warned you.  Feel free to comment if you disagree or, even better, if you have someone to add to the list.

Top 10 Worst singers:
1. Yoko Ono - sounds like a dying cat in every performance I've seen her do.

2. Lil Wayne - I can't stand his voice and honestly don't know how he's sold so many records.

3. Ashlee Simpson - Forget the SNL lip sync debacle.  Watch what happens when she tries to sing at the Orange Bowl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bY2cN3BgPsU

4. Bjork - I'm willing to look past the experimental music, but she can't even carry a tune. 

5. Fred Durst - Limp Bizkit has a few good songs, but Durst cannot sing.

6. Kanye West - all his stuff needs to be autotuned and it still doesn't help make him listenable.

7. Paul Stanley - he doesn't have great pitch, great range, or great emotion in his voice.  Some moments are definitely cringeworthy.

8. will.i.am - very talented producer, but his singing voice is not great.

9. Chris Martin - his voice just isn't interesting and most of their music is boring as well.

10. Vince Neil - similar lack of skill to Paul Stanley.  I saw Mötley Crüe live and Vince is by far the least talented in the band.

11. Anthony Kedis - can be good at times and other times it is so off key, misprounounced, mumbling or just irritating.

New music that is NOT worth your time:
Bruno Mars - 24K Magic - More like, let me try to rip off everyone from James Brown to Bobby Brown and sound like crap with lame lyrics and way too much synthesizer.

Killers - Don't Waste Your Wishes - More like, Don't Waste Your Dollars on this lame Christmas album where there is no holiday spirit to be found.

Highly Suspect - The Boy Who Died Wolf - Sounds like it might be good and then nope.

Sixx AM - Prayers for the Blessed - I pray they go away.

From Ashes to New - Day One - I think they named this album after how long they spent on it.  Maybe if they slept on it they would wake up in the morning and realize that it sucks.

Metallica - Hardwired... to Self-Destruct - Really?  Eight years in the making and you put out what sounds like the Black Album part II.  Some people are calling this a return to their thrash roots, but from the samples I've heard that couldn't be farther from the truth.  It sounds like nothing we haven't heard before.  I wouldn't spend my money on it.

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